Reasons to Hate Paradise. No. 1: Power Cuts

At the risk of being called a ‘city slicker’ or some other prohibition era insult for people who can’t handle the great outdoors; power cuts in the middle of nowhere are the absolute worst.

They’re especially bad when you’re on your own in the jungle. When the electricity dies here, it completely lacks the novelty of when it happens in more inhabited areas. There’s no back up power, no reassuring glow of your neighbours flashlights as you run around the house trying to find yours, and no taking it in turns to check in on the old lady next door with a box of candles and a cup of tea. There’s nothing, because there’s no one.

The first time it happened I was pretty ill prepared. I’d been doing some writing when my limited light source died and I found myself plunged into total darkness. I had 17% battery on my phone and an agitated troop of howler monkeys above me that suddenly started screaming like they knew something ominous was happening. Luckily it didn’t last too long. My phone torch eked out a tiny beam of light to stave off my fear until the electricity returned and the cabin’s light bulb fizzed back to life.

Powercut number 2 was more dramatic. It lasted for hours and hours, starting just before sunset and only gave me sufficient time to hunt out one solitary candle before the night kicked in. If only I could find a match.

I’d been told by a local that the tropical storms often caused trees to fall on the power lines. Since the rain was smashing down all around me I figured that must be the case and tried to ignore my memory of them saying it often takes a day or two to get it up and running again. As I searched for the damn matches I couldn’t help but flash back to every horror movie I’d ever seen involving a ditzy chick spending the night in a cabin in the woods. Why wasn’t I more organized?

Reasons-to-Hate-Paradise-Power-Cuts-Candle

I clearly made it through that night. I slept pretty badly and the howler monkeys kept chiming in to add to the creepiness but when I was woken up in the middle of the night by the lights coming back on, I was just happy it wasn’t to the sight of an axe murderer looming over my bed.

Scary As Hell Powercuts 1 – Paradise 0.

frontier-free-drifting

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